I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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