I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
