you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
