I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
