so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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