You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
