I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
