oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
did you just send me my own nude
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
