just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
