I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
