Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
