he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
