I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
