Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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