Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
