I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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