hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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