It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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