Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
