its not stalking. its research.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
