True but thats because hes a fetus.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
