belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
did i walk over a car last night?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
