Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Damn victory sex feels great
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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