in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
