I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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