And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
