It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
