508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
