the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
