Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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