my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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