the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
