Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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