PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
