pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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