idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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