dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
