I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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