its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We are two peas in an std pod
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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