I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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