I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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