i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
