if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think i have herpe
just one?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
