We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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