I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
