I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Mom said you looked used
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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