So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
