ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
