Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
