can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
